Breakfast in Bed

One of the hardest lessons from my efforts to cultivate an online following is that I cannot be brilliant 100% of the time.

Which is not true, of course. It is perfectly within my power to tweet, post, and present the most brilliant content on a daily basis. But that would require the kind of time commitment I am not willing to make. I have a life outside my self-marketing department. I do not exist only to be your internet guru.

But in fairness to all my readers, I need to remain accessible. So, for a nice change of pace, let me give you the “morning newspaper” version of my current status, as a way of letting the whole world know what Mr. Horne has been up to lately.

This Week in the Book of Secrets

THIS WEEK ON THE FRONT PAGE: “Valuable Book still For Sale”

A new query goes out every week. Each one is a chance for some agent (or acquisitions editor) to seize what I know is a book ready to break out. My promise and guarantee for this book is the same as it has always been: “If you read it, you will publish it.” Thus far, no one has fully taken this challenge. But I am so confident that every person who finishes the book will seek to publish it that I will give ear to any wager put forth by any reputable publisher or agent concerning this guarantee.

THIS WEEK IN HEALTH: “It’s a Modern Miracle”

My sprained ankle has finally gone completely into remission. Long after the pain went away, a certain amount of stiffness persisted, but that has now subsided, as well.

THIS WEEK IN BUSINESS: “Foul Play at Twitter HQ”

It’s no secret that I seek to get at least 50,000 followers on the platform. Having a large and loyal following on social media can convince potential publishers and business partners of the viability of my brand, and my willingness to market myself.

However, Twitter has been up to a great deal of foul play lately. They don’t seem to like the idea of an ordinary person using their platform to achieve the same level of influence that politicians and celebrities enjoy. To this end, they were previously shadowbanning me nearly once a week to keep people from seeing my tweets.

But that was their old way of doing things. In recent weeks, they have become even more sinister. In happier times, regular accounts enjoyed most of the same privileges as verified (read: blue-checkmark) accounts. But only a few weeks ago, Twitter changed the rules so that regular accounts have stricter limits placed on them (the blue-checked accounts retained the older, looser rules).

In addition to this, Twitter has taken up the practice of locking people’s accounts. And while an account is locked, they make it appear as if that account has unfollowed everyone it was following. This makes the locked accounts look to outsiders as if they are up to something sinister, when Twitter itself was the real culprit.

Unfortunately, there is little I can do to stop Twitter from flogging my account this way. I am not entirely without recourse, but the company is starting to impose arbitrary rules against the accounts of ordinary people (and keep in mind that my account is completely nonpolitical, so these dirty tricks are happening on all sides of the aisle and against any account who has committed the crime of going around without a blue checkmark).

THIS WEEK IN SPORTS: “Cheating now Legal”

In a stunning 9-0 decision, the Supreme Court has ruled that all actions are now considered fair play in any sport. Not only does this include the use of anabolic steroids, but also:

  • Winning a footrace using a motor vehicle.
  • Use of rocket launchers in football games.
  • Bribing tennis judges (as long as the opponent is given the chance to make a counter-bribe).
  • Peeing on an injured soccer player to test whether he really broke his leg or if he’s just faking it.

THIS WEEK IN THE PERSONALS: “Mind your own business.”

Seriously. Mind your own business.

THIS WEEK IN SCIENCE: “Valuable Book still For Sale”

Yes, this story is important enough to get two mentions.

There’s not a lot I can say that hasn’t already been said. But I would like to add this: I’m going to do what it takes.

If that means patiently submitting queries to everyone under the sun, fine. If it means finding other ways to make an impression, I’m down with that, too. But I am going to get this book published by hook or by crook. And I don’t where I have to go or what I have to do to make that happen.

THIS WEEK IN OPINION: “You are all Important to Me.”

Getting the run around in the business of book publishing has given me so much empathy for the people I connect with (and there have been many) who know exactly what it is like.

I am sorry that it is so hard. But I am so happy to find friends in this endeavor. And no matter what personal frustrations you are facing now or soon, you’re doing a good job, and I respect you for doing it, week in and week out.

I love connecting with people through this blog and its affiliate social media accounts. I want you all to know that I see you. Your doings are not invisible, and I will be your friend.

As always, thanks for reading.